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sometimes its a good hurt..... [18 Nov 2006|04:57pm] we were here to show them we can do it.. but you refused, you couldn't see to it... our hearts on the gas, but our minds on the break.. we lost eachother just by a tiny mistake... i hurt a little more each day and see my way out another... i promise you that this had nothing to do with your mother... one excuse, two excuse, three excuse four... i stopped paying attention when she was riding you in your four door... i tried and tried, but nothing said or done came through... i couldnt say i gave it my all with not knowing what to do.. and each day after since this whole "high-school drama". we think of eachother more once than the other and i dislike the feeling i get i feel as though i regret, but i dont its just a feeling... i still get sick when i see your face and im clumsy and stuck still in your embrace its a trace to whats next and whats led on to the future i cant see you with me and with her... im sad a little each day through thinking i cant go on, its gotta be just me and you and im helpless just gazing into nothing and im speechless when you try to talk to me and i miss everything about and all the great times that we had im acting as if its over, but its not...well still be friends i wish you saw things clearly and i wish i would stop dreaming and i wish i wouldnt stop hurting these feelings need to be pushed aside i have to take an hour long ride i need to see, breath and act and not think about the past i need to find my way, i need to find my way home.... xxx

along came the aches... [22 Sep 2006|12:08am] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | incubus-anna molly ] so, i got the keys and i opened the door put the pedal to the metal... and then i tried to, just tried to snap out of it... it kinda just took control, but i didnt mean for it to. i didnt think nothing of it until i sat down... maybe thats when my mind actually clicks and says "reality check" i dont need this and i dont need to be surrounded by this human being i keep telling myself this over and over again until im at the point where i want to slap myself silly, but no ones laughing except for him... and he'll do this until hes 30 or maybe even 45.. maybe one day he'll wake up and tell himself.. " i mest up, i am a douche bag!."...and maybe he'll be sad and maybe even have one of those after show slash im drunk pitty crys and expect me to be there for him and i wont... but she will...she will be there for you no matter what even if you lie to her and even if you treat her wrong.. she will be there waiting...and that isnt right. we are all soo aware of this.. so we close our eyes and close our mouths and we stop pointing the finger and stop overreacting and we try to come to our senses and we slowly walk away but theres always that constant reminder someone slightly tapping us on our shoulders telling us that its ok to move on and walk forward instead of pushing rewind on our burnt out 80s stereo. . . . .word is o u t. 4 |xxx

forgiveness. [03 Aug 2006|09:36am] [ music | at the drive-in ] he whispers silly lies into my ear and tells me things that i want to hear... xxx

it hurts. [19 Jun 2006|01:09pm] [ mood | under the sea ] [ music | ms. apple- parting gift ] i opened my eyes while you were kissing me, once more than once and you looked as sincere as a dog just as sincere as a dog does when its the food on your lips, with which its in love i bet you could never tell that i knew you didnt know me that well it is my fault you see you never learned that much from me oh, you silly, stupid pastime time of mine you were always good for a rhyme and from the first, to the last time, the signs said "stop" but we went on whole-hearted it ended bad, but i love what we started. i took off my glasses, while you were yelling at me once sos not to see you see me react shouldve put em, shouldve put em on again so i could see you see me, sincerely yelling back i bet your fortressed face belied your fort of face it is by the grace of me you never learned what i could see oh, you silly, stupid pastime time of mine you were always good for a rhyme and from the first, to the last time, the signs said "stop" but we went on whole-hearted it ended bad, but i love what we started. xxx

sour gimmies. . . yes, gimmes. [05 Jun 2006|09:10pm] [ mood | refreshed ] [ music | sound surreal ] as i walked through the soggy part of the beach i realized that every step i took was a step closer to realizing what is going on... and it seems that life is just so beautiful to ever close your eyes and thats all ive been doing lately... i havent had the time to care... the time to think or even react... my mind is filled with something sweet.. not like butterflies...more like honey and imma' sinkin'....maybe this is what love is supposed to feel like or maybe falling out of "it" and my mind hasnt decided which one it is... i want so badly to have it be prefect and sadly it isnt the right time and the right words havent been spoken... i just feel my mind is somewhere else someplace peaceful... and i havent had a moment to say what im thinking.. and if this is at all making sense... well, never-mind. . . .and so i play the "waiting" game 2 |xxx

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